Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
