omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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