We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
