everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
