why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
