office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
