he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
do nipples grow back?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
