I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
