that's an acceptable place to lick
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Girls should come with a carfax report
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
