sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
