I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so let's talk penis.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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