if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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