A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
