Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
