Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
