well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
