Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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