Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
