Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
