Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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