Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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