You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize