quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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