dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
