Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
