But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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