I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
