dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
