the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
only you would photoshop your dick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize