"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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