I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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