My nipple is on Facebook.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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