I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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