That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
