Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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