fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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