they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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