I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
