the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
