i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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