Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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