Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
