If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
