You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
