Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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