I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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