smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
