somebody snuck up and got me drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I supernannyed him into submission
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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