my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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