All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
