Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
