Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
