yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
home. puking in laundry basket.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
