16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
