i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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