hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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