just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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