That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize