put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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